Here’s How To Maintain A Sex Life After Kids


After you have a baby there is a long checklist of why you aren’t interested in any bedroom activity. For fun, here are a few:

  • Four hours of broken sleep might leave you a little tired
  • Having a small human on your boobs all day may lead to not wanting anyone to touch you for a while.
  • Your nether regions might still be a bit sore from having said baby

Not to mention the chemicals produced while breastfeeding to encourage a break between babies. Those chemicals wreak havoc with your libido.

So it’s completely normal to lay low after your babies come into the world.

But what happens when you’re ready to get back on it?

Start dating…again

It’s time to reconnect with your loved one. So much happens, physiologically, emotionally and mentally after having a baby. Both you, and your partner, go through so many changes during this time. Set aside one night every week for date night. It doesn’t have to be an extravagant setting; you don’t even have to go out at all. Plan one-on-one time, no TV, no distractions. Restore your connection and talk to each other. Check in and be there for one another.

Get a little racy

Nothing sets the tone like a little flirting. Send each other texts or hidden notes dropping hints for what’s to come. The exciting part of dating was the anticipation of the next move. Bring back that excitement with spontaneous gestures.

Try the 30-day sex challenge

Yep…it’s a thing. If you’re anything like me, you love a good challenge. Also, you have kids. So while a few things in the challenge may not be workable (or you’re not comfortable with it) make it your own. Sit down with your partner and come up with your own challenge. Make it fun and make it respectful for both parties. Just have a go at shagging for 30 days straight.

Mix things up

Even if you have been in your relationship a while, it’s never too late to learn some new tricks. Buy a fun adult game, do some research; take a pole dancing class (pole dancing by the way is great for your core, which is important to strengthen after having a baby). The key thing is to find things that are fun for you that you will enjoy doing. If your head is in the right place, the rest will follow.

Be honest & realistic

Speaking of having your head in the right place, make sure you are always honest with your partner. If you don’t feel ready to be intimate again, have a chat about what is going on for you. Too often people fall into a cycle of one partner making advances then the other feeling guilty for always turning them down. Talk about what is happening and how you feel and don’t put so much pressure on yourself. If you feel that the relationship is suffering, seek some professional help. You never have to go through things on your own.

So if you’re ready to get back in the saddle (awful pun intended) have a go at some or all of these tips and bring sexy back.



About Author

Suzi OShea

Suzi is a stay at home writer, editor and maker of humans. After years in the debaucherous media industry, she never dreamed of a domesticated life caring for small people. She is also the editorial director of

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