One of the most commonly sited traits in a desired romantic partner is a sense of humour.
This isn’t surprising, especially when looking at the results of studies showing that humour is linked to relationship satisfaction. This is in part because humour in relationships contributes to mitigating conflict, coping with stress and open communication. Of course, it also brings a sense of fun and pleasure to relationships as well!
However, it is important to note that the simple presence of humour in a relationship does not guarantee a great match. Not only do partners need to share the same style of humour, the humour must be positive.
Humour at the expense of your partner, even if it begins in a light-hearted manner, can chip away at the relationship, eroding self-esteem and trust. This aggressive style of humour is more likely to be the source of conflict in a relationship. If one partner is constantly the butt of another’s jokes resentment can build. Excessive use of sarcasm or derogatory humour in a relationship is not healthy.
However, laughing with your partner is a great way to deepen your bond. When we share the same sense of humour and it is used in a positive way, it can bring additional enjoyment to the relationship. It can be used to express affection and also help diffuse conflict.
“Inside jokes” in particular are a great way to enhance the bond with your partner. An inside joke is one of those things that only you and your partner fully appreciate. It might be in reference to a situation your found yourselves in, a quote from a show you both like or something from a conversation you shared. It is one of those things that make you say to other people “You had to be there!”
These types of jokes not only help keep playfulness alive in your relationship but they help build that sense of connection. They are a symbol of your partnership and a reminder to both of you of good times shared.
So be sure to enjoy a good joke with your partner. Just be sure you are laughing with each other, not at each other.