Have you ever realized that your children pick up on your mood?
I am a mother to four children and this is something that I have known for a long time just in the day-to-day experiences of raising my children.
Did you know that before we even open our mouths to say something our children interpret our body language, including facial expressions, tone of voice, body posture, eye contact, etc. Our children will unconsciously assess the situation and then they will react consciously and unconsciously accordingly.
As a fellow mother you will understand this, as often when we are cranky or stressed then our children will mirror these feelings back to us in their behaviors (which only makes it harder for us to cope in that moment – how can we help our children through their own anxieties when we are clearly not coping!) On the opposite side, when we are feeling calm, happy and at peace our children will also reflect these feelings back to us and life will flow with a greater ease.
So how does this help our mothering skills? It helps by allowing us to understand what we are feeling on this inside. Only when we can truly understand and address our internal feelings can we deal with what is going on in the outside. Unfortunately we cannot control or stop a screaming tantrum – yet we can understand that our own emotional state will affect the intensity and how we handle the raging tantrum.
How to do this you may ask???
Well for starters we need to become aware of what we are feeling. Become aware of these feelings like a third party observer, without getting involved in the emotion and drama of the feeling (which is hard to do because we often have so much emotion and justification invested in the feeling).
The second thing is once we know what we are feelings is to treat ourselves with more compassion over what we are feeling – often we are our own greatest critics in the way we think and talk about ourselves. When we can be kinder to ourselves, then it is easier for us to be more understanding and compassionate to ourselves.
Finally accept yourself for who you are – right NOW. Not if you are a few kilo’s lighter or if you had a new job or if your kids listened to you more. Just as you are right now (warts and all)! Believe me, you will be the same person inside as you are now if you can fit into that dress or had the best job or if your children obeyed every word you said! Love and accept yourself just as you.
Become aware of what is going on within yourself to help you feel happier and calmer on the outside. What an amazing role model you will make for your children as you teach them to love themselves and become a confident person!
Debbie is running a free webinar on Tuesday night (25th November) at 8pm (Melbourne time), called Happy Mum = Happy Kids. If you are interested in attending, please click on this link… here
Speaker, author of Beyond the Schoolyard and owner of a successful Kinesiology business, Debbie Rossi is passionate about helping other families to not go through the bullying which she experienced as a child. It is all about creating happy, secure and confident Mums and children.
You can find out more at www.debbierossi.com.au.