Everyone Else Knows Best – A reminder there is a person and story behind every post


bigstock-Woman-thinking-blackboard-conc-39259996 (Medium)I was struggling today, I felt in over my head. I’m tired and grumpy and I don’t feel like I can enjoy my kids. I am a total loss I’m wondering if I am really cut out for the job. I am afraid of coping every day and starting to have panic attacks. My husband works hard for us all but I don’t feel supported in my job. I casually ask what time other’s think is a good time for husbands to come home from work and help out, and not try to make a big deal of my situation. I am told I am selfish, I should be grateful I have a husband, grateful he even comes home at night. Apparently I need to be better organised as it is a gift to be at home and I owe it to everyone in my family to be happy about it. I am told I should work and see how it feels, my husband is working for my luxuries, I should stop being so selfish. I should get a job, and let him stay at home all day – I’m the one who get’s to ‘enjoy’ the kids all day long.

I am terrified that I am pregnant, my husband says he wants no more and he is deadly serious. He is worried for our finances. My mother is very sick and is living with us and needs full time care. I live half and hour away from the nearest GP and my husband takes our one car to his low paying job. I ask “could the faint line on the test mean I am pregnant, as it isn’t showing at all on a different brand. I don’t have time to go to the doctor to check. I am told If I don’t have time for the doctor, then I don’t have time for a baby. There is apparently a simple solution, get the kids babysat and go to the doctor, or even better train my apparently naughty kids so I can actually take them to the doctor like a normal person. I am told to turn the TV off and stop being so lazy and go to the doctor. What kind of mum and I to not even be bothered going to the doctors.

I am concerned for my neighbours child walking home from school, and being alone for an hour and a half. I know the pain of lonliness, I have also experienced loving parents having to leave me all alone just to make ends meet. The little girl looks sad, my heart breaks for her and I hurt for the parents who are stuck in this situation. I am desperate to help in any way I can. I ask if I should offer for her to come to my house until her parents are home. I am told to stop being nosey, stop thinking I know better and just mind my own business. Who am I to be judging what those parents are going through.

I suggest idea’s for party food and am told I am making my kids fat.

I suggest ideas for healthy food and I am told I am taking the fun out of life.

Behind every post is a person, behind every person, is a story. We have no idea what it is, and only see such a small glimpse in questions that are kept as short as possible. I am ashamed to say that I  too make judgements about people everyday, but I do not act on them. In the online world where the face is removed, there is no connection to the hurt and devestation your words are causing someone who is reaching out for help. We need to stop treating each other like pieces on a chess board, trying to knock them down so we are the king and queen left standing. I’m not sure what it will take to bring compassion to an online community.

*Clearly I have created stories for these people and they are not factual – I don’t know the real stories just the same as everyone else
*Also the pregnancy one was from another forum

Written By School Mum Kristen Harmer



About Author

School Mum

Being a mum to 3 kids (one of them full time at home with me) and trying to juggle everything became pretty crazy.

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