10 Things No One Tells You About Parenting A Tween

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It’s not just teens that bring the heat – parenting a tween can be really challenging. Here are some things you need to know!

Let’s face it, there are a lot of childhood stages that have a bad rap. There are the relentless newborn days (or daze!) and the terrible toddler years. Then there’s the heartbreak of sending them off into the big wide world when they start school, and of course, the most dreaded stage of all – the teenage years.

Based on these widely held truths, one would assume there is a reprieve of sorts when your child is between 8 and 12 years old. Parenting a tween is sold as a golden age, nestled between the fledgling childhood and the smelly, attitude packed teenager.

Related: 5 Things I Want My Tween Sons To Know Before They Become Teenagers

Entering the Tween Zone

Beware: it’s a trap for unwary players!!

Parenting a tween isn’t some innocuous, cruisy time where parents can relax. Far from it. This is yet another tumultuous state of flux where the child you once knew and adored starts to morph into a complete stranger.

You have entered the Tween Zone.

Honestly, it slapped me in the face. Took me completely by surprise. I had always thought of tweens as cute teenage wannabes. Simply mimicking older kids in dress and music taste, while still remaining their adorable selves.

How wrong can one person be?!

It’s common: The Dawn Of The Tweens – I Was Not Prepared

Important things no one tells you about parenting a tween

Things no one ever told me about parenting a tween

In case you haven’t got to this stage yet, here are some things I simply didn’t know. I’ll bet no one ever told you these things about parenting a tween, either.

1. Puberty starts EARLY!

Even before other obvious changes, those hormones start raging. Not necessarily in a sexual way but triggering other emotional changes which can be very hard for both parent and child to deal with. Expect to have a very conflicted little person on your hands.

2. They grow so quickly

I’m talking physically as well as mentally. And believe me, it gets expensive. Fast.

3. They are neither big, nor small

When you look at them you can see the teenager they are going to be and the small child they were. It’s a weird juxtaposition and they feel this too.

4. Maturity levels among tweens differ enormously

They easily become entangled in issues they aren’t well equipped to deal with. This is because the Tween Zone is a very uneven playing field with some kids developing much faster than others.

5. Their self-esteem takes a beating

Their self-esteem can take a battering early (often in large part due to point 4 above).

6. They lose their innocence so fast

They lose their innocence much faster than you can imagine (also often due to point 4 above).

7. It’s stinky!

I was prepared for the teen years to smell bad, but kids start smelling much earlier than expected. Even from an age where they don’t notice. It’s rank!

8. Sometimes they can be real jerks!

The attitude of a teen, but the immaturity of a child can be a difficult combo for everyone. They will have zero self-awareness of any of it.

9. They start talking in a weird language

Most probably learnt off some hip YouTuber. They will say things like “lit”, “snatched” and “GOAT”.  You will start to wonder at what point you’ll need to engage an interpreter to talk to your own child.

10. It’s emotionally overwhelming – for parents too

You will ask yourself constantly: “Where did my baby go?”

These are just some of the many tough adjustments that come with parenting a tween. Communication is key, as are establishing boundaries and a strong relationship built on trust. That way, you can help them navigate this tricky time. And the even trickier times to come.

But the best unexpected thing about parenting a tween? It’s when they remind you that they really are still your baby by giving you a big hug at the end of the day.

Are you parenting a tween or almost there? How are you finding it?

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School Mum

Being a mum to 3 kids (one of them full time at home with me) and trying to juggle everything became pretty crazy.