Top 30 Funniest and Cutest Advice from Kids


IMG_0187Every day our kids have the knack of making us laugh and saying the darnedest things. This is one of the best moments of being a parent or grandparent.  Kids just remind us to laugh, be happy and are simply inspiring.

When my son was little he asked me why it rained. I told him that the angels had leaky pipes. One day during a very rainy week, he looked at me and told me that Uncle Harry needed to fix the pipes. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Here is a list of our top 30 things kids say in complete innocence as sent in by our School Mum community:

30. “Mum I know your clever, but don’t you realise your old?”

29. “ Things are always in the last place you look because after you find it you no longer need to look for it.”

28.  “I’m sorry to say this, but you have turned evil!” My 6 year old daughter in response to being told it was lights out time.

27.  6 year old asked me “mummy, did water exist in the olden days”

26. “Love is really big isn’t it?” 6yr old daughter

25. “Stop freaking out mum. You’ll scare dad!”

24. “When I grow up, if I have a gf and she kisses another girl- I’m gonna have 2 girlfriends!”

23.  “Brains are like cupboards…. they hold so much sometimes you don’t even know what’s in there” –  A discussion with my then 3yo son (now 12)

22. My 3 yr old overheard me say while I was crying that I feel like getting pissed … she said “mum don’t get pissed, you”ll pee your pants” needless to say I stopped crying and laughed so hard it cheered me up

21. The sun was hitting our kitchen window in such a way that it made a rainbow up on our wall … my then 3yr old son said … “Look mommy, God is shining his love into our house!”

20. I had 5 girls and 1 boy at my sons birthday party, 4 girls were up in the playhouse in the back yard and I gave them snacks and drinks … my son comes out and stands on the mini deck leans on the rail and says “4girls & a party, this is the life”

19. “Be mindful of jellyfish ’cause they can sting you with their testicles.”

18. My eldest daughter asked my 5 year old why she liked a certain friend, Miss 5 replied with … ”because she smiles at me” … such simplicity in friendship between kids … I wish adult friendships were that simple.

17. My 5yr old daughter was collecting shells at the beach and was picking up a heap of broken ones. I told her to stop collecting the yucky broken ones and to pick up the nice ones. She said she liked the broken ones, just because they are broken doesn’t mean they aren’t beautiful! True that, rather profound from a little girl!

16. My son aged 4: “mummy are we in a story someone is reading or are we in the world”

15. When my brother sadly passed away, my 8 yr old daughter said to me one night when i was crying “don’t worry mum u have 2 big brothers that can’t be with u all the time, but u have 1 big brother that is with u all the time whereever u go whatever u do, he is with u cause that’s what angels do”

14. A few years ago, my nan sadly passed away from cancer. It was the first funeral our son (then 4 ish) was to attend. I explained that a funeral was a chance to say goodbye to grandma as she was now in heaven amongst the stars. After helping him dress and tie his shoes he turned to me and asked “where are we gonna get a rocket” and me totally not thinking said “a rocket??? What do we need a rocket for?” He turned to me with eyes welling “to go say goodbye to grandma.” Such a touching, beautiful moment

13. My 9 year old – “a candle is a candle, a potato is a potato … so why didn’t they just see a person as a person?” – not understanding why some people pigeon-hole by colour of skin, religion etc. We had got talking about race when listening to Nina Simone, then moved on to Martin Luther King and segregation in the US.

12. My 5yr old son told me, in order to be loved, you have to love yourself first ?

11. Master 7 on a long car trip last week said”lollies activate my short term memory, sandwiches activate my long term memory, so lolly sandwiches activate all my memory!” Why couldn’t he just ask for a lolly?

10.I explained some number plates were personalized to show people’s names. My then 5 year old daughter screwed up her face and said “how silly … people who know you already know your name and people who don’t know you – what do they care what you’re called.”

9. My 8 year old son said when I told him to be qiet and eat his dinner … “mum, you’re not the boss God is”

8. One of my daughters when I kiss her goodnight says … “I will rub my lips together and that makes your kiss go to my heart”

7. Miss 12 gives me her straight A report card … “see Mum, I do know it all.”

6. After threatening to leave my 4 yr old at home… she says, “but you can’t Mum because we are family and family sticks together”. He was so sincere it just stopped me

5. My daughter asked me to play princesses with her …. I said sure honey and she ok them mum I am the princess and you are my horse.

4. Master 4: “Mum sit with us and watch a movie, the plates aren’t going anywhere” (referring to the dishes that needed washing)

3. The meaning of life is to help others (from Mr 6)

2. My daughter when she was 4 asked me how God makes eggs? I told her that chickens make eggs not God. After a long pause she asked me how God made chickens? I said “I don’t know baby, he’s just clever”. She replied “Wow, he should go on Australia’s Got Talent”!

1. I was talking with my mum in Italian when master 4 said can you please talk white!!???



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School Mum

Being a mum to 3 kids (one of them full time at home with me) and trying to juggle everything became pretty crazy.

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