It’s not easy feeling like you’re always dropping the ball. But mums do it all the time and it isn’t the end of the world. Matter of fact, it might actually be helping our kids.
To the mum who missed soccer sign-on,
To the mum who didn’t get the excursion permission slip returned in time,
To the mum who sent her kid to school on a student free day,
To the mum who fed her kids baked beans on toast because she didn’t get time to get groceries,
To the mum who feels like she’s always dropping the ball,
I see you. I am you. We are all you at some point.
No mother is perfect
This is to remind you that no mother is perfect. To remind you that with so many balls in the air it is normal to feel like you’re always dropping the ball. We only have two hands to juggle with, after all.
We all want to think we can have it all and do it all. But even though we are wonder women, we aren’t super human.
Providing a loving home for our kids, getting them to do their homework, taking them to extra curricular activities, play dates and appointments, clothing and feeding them (EVERY DAMN DAY), watching them do school performances and get awards, all probably on top of trying to keep down a paying job, is no small order.
Not to mention all the hours spent worrying about their emotional and physical wellbeing and thinking we are screwing it all up. Most mums feel like we are always dropping the ball, letting ourselves and our families down.
Please, stop judging yourself
Please stop judging yourself against the glimpses you see of other people’s lives – the bento lunchboxes, the intricately braided hair for school, the spotless house.
Think of these as serving suggestions. You know how some times you dish up a meal and think, “Wow, this looks like it’s from a restaurant!” and other times you slap it all on the plate and think “It doesn’t matter what it looks like – it will taste the same!” ?
That’s a great metaphor for life with kids. Some days you will have those Insta-worthy mum moments when everything looks just as you think it should, but other times it will look like chaos. But you still love those kids and they love you. This is all that matters at the end of the day. It still tastes the same.
Kids won’t remember the majority of the things you stress over and beat yourself up about. They will not grow up thinking, “my mum was always dropping the ball and it let me down.” No way.
Related: Why women are more stressed than men
Let the damn ball drop
They will remember that mum gave great cuddles and was always there for them when they needed comfort.
They won’t understand what it means for a mum to feel like you’re always dropping the ball. So, they might remember that mum was always stressed and cranky, but they won’t remember why. Even if it was because you were busting your gut to be the “perfect mum”.
Mama, cut yourself some slack.
Let some things slide occasionally. Drop that damn ball!
Laugh with your kids more. Make sure they know you love them – not just through the things you do for them, but for the way you make them feel. Let things slide if it means spending more time just hanging out with the kids.
Related: What’s a balanced life anyway?
This way, you can teach them that it’s ok to make mistakes. That striving for perfection at the expense of joy is not a life well lived. This is such an important lesson, and one we can really only teach our kids when we make mistakes, or compromises, ourselves.
We all need to slow down and take stock of the important things in life.
And sometimes that means dropping a few balls.
Do you feel like you’re always dropping the ball? Are you doing okay?